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THE TUCKAHOE HARPOON
  AND HOMELAND STAR
7/15/19

 A DIAGNOSTIC HYMN
IF YOUR HEART HAS GONE TO WHEEZING LIKE A RUSTED RENTAL PUMP
IF YOUR ORANGE GROVE HAS SUNK INTO A FESTERED FECAL DUMP
IF YOUR CAMEL HAS COME DOWN WITH CARCINOMA OF THE HUMP
IF YOUR MOTOR HOME IS STUCK BETWEEN A SINK-HOLE AND A STUMP
IF MISS LIBERTY HAS SHRIVELED FROM A FAVE INTO A FRUMP
IF THE CRAP THAT YOU’VE BEEN EATING GAVE YOUR GULLET SUCH A LUMP
THAT YOUR VOICE HAS CHANGED TO BLEATING LIKE A SHEEP CAUGHT IN A SUMP
IF YOUR IMAGE IN THE MIRROR OSCILLATES 'TWIXT CHIMP AND CHUMP
IT’S SURE THAT YOU’VE BEEN TUNING IN TOO MUCH TO DONALD TRUMP.

-RANDALL QUEEQUEG First Harpooner (ret.)
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